Lenora’s Home Birth

It was the Monday of October half term…. And  Conrad dropped the bomb that he had decided NOT to book annual leave, seeing as I had already taken the week off.  I was 39 weeks pregnant, considerably heavier than I had EVER been before, tired, fed up and desperately in need of a few days of staring aimlessly at my bedroom wall.  Thats why (I thought) we had agreed to both take that half term week off as annual leave, spend some time with Ezra (about to turn 4) and Serena (2 and a half) before the baby was due to arrive.

Instead, it seemed I was in on toddler child-care alone.

Luckily it was a warm sunny day for late in October and so we spent the morning playing together. At 11 o’clock I felt antsy and got us all in our shoes for a walk down the road.  There’s a cafe what would usually be 7 minute walk from home that does a lovely brunch and is super kid friendly, so I added 20 mins for super preggo walking and another for herding toddlers, and figured that setting off at 11 would mean we got to the cafe in great time for early lunch. The kids were keen, so off we set.  I had to stop a good few times.  Baby by now was so low and had been so low for a few weeks that I may as well have been walking with a bowling ball between my legs.

I wasn’t in any pain, just puffed out (in all senses) and walking awkwardly.  Anyway, 40 minutes later, on arrival at said cafe, it turns out they don’t open on a Monday….. luckily for me there’s a corner shop right next door so we did a corner shop raid, including an ice lolly and some magazines each and headed back for home.

The walk back home took twice as long.  Mummy HAD to keep stopping and even squat down a few times to relieve pressure. At the time I didn’t think so much of it, with hindsight of course I know I should have known…. Labour number 3 was well under way, with the same sensations of extreme pelvic pressure as the previous two.

When we eventually made it home, we camped out in the front room with our corner shop picnic and magazines and I agreed to a Disney movie.  As the film got going, I found myself moving out of the front room, leaving Ezra and Serena on the sofa, I set myself up in their playroom next door and started bouncing on my birthing ball.

I hadnt had much sleep since around 30 weeks, spending most nights sitting up on the sofa with a really congested nose, trying to not get too frustrated - I HATE a blocked nose.  I remember thinking to myself every single night from 37 weeks onwards…. Well the baby not coming TONIGHT!  That was because both of my other two labours had started the exact same way - me being woken from sleep in the middle of the night to waves of pelvic pressure that built.  And so I was very much expecting my third labour to be the same……

Sitting in that toy room bouncing on my birthing ball in the early afternoon, I was thinking to myself, this sort of feels like something….. maybe if I bounce enough then it will be tonight.

And so I bounced.  And bounced and bounced. And it felt good, a relief to all the pelvic pressure I was feeling.

Around 14:00 the movie must have ended because both kids come and found me and wanted to bounce with me.  I spent the next 60 - 90 mins playing with them in the toy room whilst carrying on on the ball.  Daddy put his head around the door at about 15:00 and asked if we should sort something out for dinner.  I said I’d order our favourite takeaway.  Which I did.  From my phone. On the ball.  At 15:30 the doorbell went and I thought it was that takeaway, but it was my mother in law.  I heard her voice as Conrad opened the door to her and my reaction to it is what made me know for sure that I was definitely in established labour.  I desperately wanted the house to myself.  I remember feeling like I needed to escape the intrusion and find somewhere to hide, undisturbed.  Thats how I knew it was definitely going to be tonight that baby girl made her arrival.

I took myself upstairs to my bedroom, not saying anything to anyone about labour yet.  I wanted peace and calm.  I asked Conrad to bring the ball up to me in the bedroom.

I set it at the side of our bed and closed the door. With the lights off I carried on bouncing. Until all of a sudden a felt more uncomfortable than comfortable bouncing. Whilst it felt like I had been there for a while, the reality must only have been 15 minutes.

I got down onto all fours on my bedroom floor, hoping a change in position would help get me back to a degree of comfort.  And that’s when I heard a loud CLICK.  I picked up my phone and began typing into good old Google ‘loud clicking sound in early labour’ and before I could press ‘go’ I felt my waters releasing.

More than any other feeling, I recall excitement.  My other two children were born within 10 minutes of waters releasing, but things were clearly happening differently this time - it was still only mid - late afternoon!

I called my mum.  I told her I was pretty sure my water had just broken and asked her to please come straight away to pick Ezra and Serena up.

Then I called downstairs to Conrad.  I told him my waters had gone and watched the sheer panic move across his face. To be fair to him, this was the first he had heard of my for definitely being in established labour.  I hadn’t wanted to make a big fuss and have chaos ensue.

So I calmly asked him to arrange for his mum to head home so he could call the midwife and then start getting Ezra and Serena bathed and into their pyjamas so that my mum could take them straight to her house when she arrived.

I then listened to him frantically flail around, not managing to get hold of the home birthing midwifery team, not wanting to ask his mum to leave until he had back up and all the while worry that the baby would be born any second seeing as my water had already gone.

I tried to stay calm.  I decided the best way to do that was to take some control over ensuring my environment was how I wanted it. So I stood up, went to the top of the stairs and called for Ezra and Serena to please say goodnight to their grandma and come and get ready for bath time.

Luckily for me they played ball. Up they came and I started running the bath for them while Conrad continued to try and reach the midwifery team and see his mum off.

He then came upstairs and helped get Ezra and Serena in the bath whilst I began setting up the bedroom with plastic sheeting and towels, ready for the delivery I had visualised.

But not having a reply from the midwives had gotten to him and he was panicking and shouting. I remember hearing him say to Ezra - I need you to behave!  Mummy is having a baby RIGHT NOW!’ I didn’t want the kids to associate the baby’s arrival with being shoo’ed out of the house and so quickly decided it would be better if I got them ready for bed and Conrad continued preparing the bedroom. So we swapped tasks. Conrad made up the bedroom and continued to try and reach the midwifery team whilst I finished up bathing Ezra and Serena, getting them into their pyjamas whilst having to regularly pause for contractions that were by now coming thick and fast every few minutes.

I put them in bed and sang twinkle twinkle whilst the last of my waters continued to release and I wondered how and when we’d remember to clean the carpet in their room!

The next 2 hours really goes by in a haze..  I remember Conrad re-running the bath for me and me climbing in.   I recall accepting a thought that once my mum had arrived to take the kids, it was likely that I would need to travel to hospital as Conrad had still not managed to reach the midwives and I knew he would not be comfortable to continue labouring not knowing if anyone would be there to attend  the birth. I tried to not resist it as I knew that although that wasn’t the birth I wanted, allowing adrenaline to set in would move me even further from the birth I wanted.

I recall my mum arriving and coming into the bathroom to check on me as Conrad got Ezra and Serena into her car ready to go to sleep at her house.  She came in right as a contraction was really building and I held her hand whilst I breathed and mooed my way through it..   That one contraction and the way I held onto my mums hand will stay with me forever ….

As mum left the house with Ezra and Serena around 17:30, Conrad was able to reach a midwife who told him she was on her way straight away, despite not actually being on call at the time.

Conrad calmed down and went back to the bedroom to do the nice things…. Light candles, set up the camera I had been asking for to record the labour and finish setting down the plastic sheeting and towels.

In that time there was a pause.  A quiet in my labour which I know now was my transition.

Once Conrad was back with me in the bathroom my body started bearing down. I knew it and felt a smile involuntarily cross my face.  I was confident.  And sure.  My baby was coming right now.  She wasn’t waiting for anyone. I told Conrad I needed to stand and he asked if I could just wait while he called for an ambulance.  He disappeared for a moment and came back asking again if I thought we had 10 minutes for the midwife to arrive or if he should call for an ambulance.

I remember knowing it was futile and wishing he could be there with me in confidence in that moment.  I stood and reached down, touching my baby’s head, the first time I felt my baby crowning - the previous two labours I hadnt wanted to distract or unnerve myself.  This time I felt all powerful.  I told Conrad she was coming right now held onto his arm with one hand, using the other to guard the back of my baby’s head and the perineum for the last push.

I birthed my baby into my own hands, standing in our bath  and pulled her straight up onto me.  She cried and I knew everything was fine.  I asked Conrad to bring us some of the big towels from the bedroom and wrap them around us.

He helped us step out of the bath and find our way to the bedroom floor, where we sat, wrapped in more towels waiting for the midwife to arrive and getting to know our brand new baby girl.