Post Natal Imposter
“Imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern in which one doubts one's accomplishments and has a persistent internalised fear of being exposed as a "fraud". Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon remain convinced that they are frauds”
It seems ironic that my first blog post on the project I set up whilst on maternity leave, is in fact inspired by the end of my maternity leave and more specifically, about my return to the world of ‘work’.
I have such a mixture of emotions, all of the them strong, borderline overwhelming in fact, about returning to my 9-5 job.
My little girl is 8 months old and to be honest, I just do not feel ready to leave her, but needs must and anyone who’s been on maternity leave and had to pinch pennies will know the feeling! Trying to balance the belief that the best thing for your little human is being at home with them for that all important first year of their life vs being able to fund the life you want for your family is a gut wrenching act; made all the more circus like by the minuscule maternity pay figures - but that’s a post for another time!
This one is about IMPOSTER SYNDROME. For all the chats I’ve had with people about returning to work, its never come up. And yet, the nagging feeling of inadequacy, the sinking anxiety that I may not have enough of me left over to dedicate to work, may have forgotten how to do my job, or may have been out of the workplace for so long that I’m no longer an expert in my field is so intense that I know I must surely not be the one person to experience it?
In a bid to get myself feeling a bit less glum, I decided to do some reading up on Imposter Syndrome, to try to understand it and figure out a strategy to dispel it that might work for me. What I found made me really realise this is not the first time that Imposter Syndrome has had such a seeping affect on my life - both personal and professional.
The HR research indicates that there are 5 ‘types’ of Imposter Syndrome, all of which affect women more than men:
The Perfectionist
The Expert
The Soloist
The Superwoman
The Great Mind
I can honestly say that each type rings true for me at one time or another in both my personal and professional life.
It also made me think through the fact that I have worked hard to be in the position I am in in both realms of life and all the more determined to put in the work I need on myself to more to feel more confident, comfortable and assured in my capabilities.
I’ve linked the article that I found the most insightful here and would recommend it to any and all of the amazing women I know will be reading this - be sure to read all the way through because the article ends in a list of actionable strategies to combat the negative feelings that come along with Impostor Syndrome.
My biggest take away and what I will be holding on to is that the research proves, the more capable and skilled you are, the more likely you are to be impacted by imposter syndrome.
That coupled with the absolute diamond girl -boss friends I have means the world is my oyster and I’m off to seize it, because I’ve earnt it and because I want my daughter watch and know that she can do the same.